Joy in this Journey

Lord Have Mercy

May 21, 2013 By Joy

They say the storm was 2 miles across and stayed on the ground for 20 miles.

They say it made a direct hit on two schools (full of children) and a hospital.

They say that in one school, they aren’t doing search and rescue anymore. It’s search and recovery now.

All I can think to pray is “Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. Lord have mercy.”

I try not to make someone else’s tragedy about me or my particular political or theological persuasions. Better to err on the side of silence than to detonate a merciless word-bomb in the midst of suffering.

My own tragedies haunt in moments like this. The body-flattening fatigue of grief drops out of the sunny skies and renders me motionless, staring into space, for moments on end.

Paul wrote that we comfort others with the comfort we ourselves have received. I have received much comfort from strangers, friends, and family alike. God, help me share that comfort. Help my words and actions be a help and not inflict more hurt.

Lord have mercy.

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Linked up today with Heather of the EO.

Filed Under: Faith and Doubt, Grief, Suffering 4 Comments

Who Is a Creator?

May 19, 2013 By Joy

Photo Credit Joy Bennett

“For the past several generations we’ve forgotten what the psychologists call our archaic understanding, a willingness to know things in their deepest, most mythic sense. We’re all born with archaic understanding, and I’d guess that the loss of it goes directly along with the loss of ourselves as creators.

“What do I mean by creators? Not only artists, whose acts of creation are the obvious ones of working with paint or clay or words. Creativity is a way of living life, no matter what our vocation or how we earn our living. Creativity is not limited to the arts or having some kind of important career.

“Our freedom to be creators is far less limited than some people would think.

“The creator is not afraid to leap over the ‘accidental fences’ and to plunge into the deep waters of creation. There, once again, and yet another way, we lose ourselves to find ourselves.”

(Quoted from Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art by Madeleine L’Engle.)

Filed Under: Critical Thinking 3 Comments

What Would You Say to Women Dreaming of Career AND Family?

May 15, 2013 By Joy

This afternoon, I ran across an interesting question: “If you were giving a commencement speech, what’s one piece of advice you’d give to young women who want to include motherhood in their futures?”

women at college commencement ceremony

These young women are motivated. They’re graduating college, and if they’re anything like my friends and I were, they have big dreams. Those dreams include career success, healthy relationships, and some of them want families. Part of me wants to wax cynical and say, “You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.”

But today, I’m doing exactly that. It’s taken me 15 years, but I’m enjoying career success while raising a family and working hard at keeping a healthy marriage.

This is what I would tell these young women.

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No matter what your career aspirations, motherhood changes your priorities. It adds a world of new considerations to every decision you make, from when to take a shower to how to invest your money. Every “yes” to one thing is “no” to an infinite number of other things, and nothing makes you more painfully aware of this than motherhood.

Saying yes to a business trip means saying no to your child when they beg you to stay. Saying yes to volunteering in your child’s class means saying no to taking that new project. Saying yes to motherhood means saying no to racing to the top of the corporate ladder. You can still get there, but not at the same pace and probably not by the same route.

But. Motherhood teaches the mother more than it teaches the child. You will learn creative problem solving. You will develop more empathy for bosses, colleagues, and direct reports who are also juggling work and family. You will experience the joy of watching (and helping) a baby develop into a thinking, creating, amazing human being.

This responsibility for another human being, one who is utterly dependent on you, changes all of us. Children slow us down, but they also help us see the world again for the first time. Children take us down rabbit trails we would never notice on our own, let alone explore. They stretch us, exasperate us, thrill us, and exhaust us. They sicken us with their flatulence and confront us with our impotence (you have never felt so useless as when you try to get a child to eat their vegetables, pee in a toilet, do their homework, or mow the lawn). They make us laugh with their impeccable recitations of movie one-liners.

My advice is to recognize this up front. Motherhood will take you on a career detour, but it can be an enriching detour if you let it. You may end up where you dreamed you would; you may end up in a completely different place altogether. But, as much as this goal-oriented woman hates to say it, the things you learn and experience along the way are more important and significant and valuable than reaching any specific milestone.

What would you say?