An anonymous person posted to my last blog entry a comment that I have decided to respond to here, rather than just in the comments.
First, they said “‘Me time’ is a lie.” However, in Genesis we learn that God rested on the 7th day. In the Torah, over and over we read God instructing the Israelites to build in time to rest, build in time for the ground to rest, to stop their hard daily toil for one day to focus on worship. In the New Testament, Jesus took time away, alone, even when his disciples argued with Him that He was doing a dis-service to the people who clamored for His help. If “Me-time” was really a lie, Jesus would not have taken time away for Himself. But He, a divine being who was also simultaneously and equally human, needed solitude to commune with God! How much more then do we who are totally human, need quiet and rest and time away.
But as my post, and the many comments to it, points out, we mothers end up bringing our jobs with us to church. And the church is failing us. It is failing to provide even a couple of hours to step away, clear our heads, worship God, fill our hearts with the Word, and then return to our precious children renewed for the week ahead.
Yes, we are to spend quiet time in prayer and Bible reading at home every day. But I’m guessing that this commenter is not a mother, or is so far removed from those early years that they have forgotten how difficult this is. How many times have I resolved to get up early, only to be needed 2-3 times in the night by various children? How many other times have I resolved to read after the kids go to bed, only to fall asleep from utter exhaustion just a couple sentences in? The spirit may be willing, but the flesh is so weak. And we are in a battle in which our enemy does everything in his power to prevent us from communing with God. Do not underestimate the challenges we face.
Second, this comment seems to discount the value of hearing the preaching of the Word. The writer seems to think that getting that preaching 2nd or 3rd-hand from someone else or via a CD is just as good. I know from personal experience that this is not true. We NEED to hear God’s Word preached skillfully and publicly — losing this, especially over an extended period of time, does extensive damage to a person’s faith. If we didn’t need to hear God’s Word preached to us in a gathering of believers, the Bible would not emphasize preaching. Dr. Stephen Lawson, pastor of Christ Fellowship Baptist Church in Mobile, Alabama, stated at this year’s Ligonier conference,“The preaching of the word is the primary ordinary means of grace.”
Third, this comment assumes many things that only exist in a perfect world. They assume that every mom is married. They assume that every mom is married to a godly man. And they assume that every mom is married to a godly man who is gifted to teach/preach the Word. And because they assume those things, they seem to think that excuses the church from its failure to minister to those who live in an imperfect world and who need help.
Finally, I wish to say that looking at myself and assessing what I need to do for my soul is not sinful or selfish, as you assert. If my soul is starving and weak, I MUST find refreshment in order to be the godly mother to my children that God calls me to be. And seeking that refreshment and food from the church is a good and biblical solution! In the same way, if my body is starving and weak, I must find food and rest in order to be the godly mother that God calls me to be. Only when my soul is in communion with God, which requires quiet time in the Word, prayer, and the preaching of the Word in a church community, will I be able to teach and guide and bring up my children to also love and commune with God.
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Joy,
Well put. I struggled with that comment to your blog but didn’t know how to respond, or even if I should since it wasn’t a post I wrote. I too find church hard. Sometimes, with Scott being in full-time ministry, Sundays are challenging. I try to serve in areas that I love but it is a struggle because I am primary caretaker of both kids while at church. That is not Scott’s fault, by any stretch, but it is a decision I made so that he can do his job while at church. All this to say, I understand your situation. This was such a good response and I wanted to encourage you to let you know that there is someone else out there that understands. Something else I would like to point out is that although there are CDs and podcasts, a day with small children in the house does not lend itself to listening to them. Interruptions tend to make me lose my train of thought and, like you, by bedtime (9:00 for me) I can’t keep my eyes open because my day starts so early. Thanks for posting!
I have to admit I was rather shocked by Anon’s suggestion that we (families) spend 45 minutes in family worship every evening in order to help our children learn to sit quietly in church. How many families really have the luxury of that much down-time together every night? Besides scheduling logistics, my kids are tired by dinnertime, as am I from mothering them all day, and NONE of us would be able to handle a nightly family devotion that lasted nearly an hour.
I have read other articles that talk about Me Time being a myth. (Here’s one…http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Raisingarrows/432782/.) I do find that I need breaks from my children, a change of pace, outside stimulation, a few moments alone with their father, time to focus on God.
Right now I am trying to do a daily study called “Seeking Him,” and since I have a hard time concentrating on Scripture when my children are needing me, I wait until they’re asleep before tackling my “Me Time” with God. The baby tends to cluster feed and fuss in the evenings after the older two are in bed, so I find myself rushing through my study in the 10 quiet minutes I can squeeze in while the baby is in the swing and somewhat contented.
So, yes, it would be wonderful to go to church one hour a week and be able to focus my heart on God instead of trying to hold two children in my arms at the same time or having to drag all three of them out with me so I can nurse the baby somewhere besides the front row!
Joy, you have such a way with words- I feel as if you are speaking for me. While I am so blessed to have a godly husband, there are many who are not so blessed, and need the support of the church family. We are in a good-sized church of several hundred, and I tried to help in the pre-school class for a while, But I soon realized that was not good for me or for the children- some of my children were in the class and were clingy, and I ended up leaving services feeling worse than when I arrived. I now stick with other ministries, and my husband volunteers in the children’s ministries (his spiritual gift is teaching, so it makes more sense for him to be there anyhow). Not only does this give me a break from being “MOM” for a while, but it gives my children additional people to point them to Christ. Then once my children are grown (or at least partially grown, I will likely feel more able and willing to serve in the children’s ministries again and give the younger moms a break.
While it is true that the point of worship services is to worship, how can a mother worship if she is constantly distracted by her children? I would ask the commenter from your past blog if she has ever tried to listen to a sermon in a nursery- not gonna happen!
And I am so with you when it comes to personal quiet time- the enemy is always trying to sabotage that by children waking in the night, exhaustion pulling at us, last minute emergencies, etc.
If we fail to feed/refresh ourselves, we will be no good at all to our children.
Well said Joy, You are absolutely right. While we need to count our blessings in spending valuable time with our Young Ones (you know that far better than most people), our church community has a responsibility too. We are also a part of your child’s life and a part of yours, and in that is a responsibility for the spiritual growth of each member. This means we are to serve one another, and not assume that the mother will be well fed by hearing a message second-hand. What about the loss of the time to worship with the community, that can’t be given second hand. What about the prayer and communion time.
You said it well Joy. Thank you for your insight!
Dear Ladies/Joy,
I would assume that many of you here are younger women. Please consider the words from one who is becoming an older woman and one is a mom…..One who has already walked much of the path…I read ALOT of emotion in your comments/posts. I would love to encourage you to think Biblically and NOT respond with your feelings. We cannot let truth be ruled by our emotions. The bottom line is simple…we do not go to church for ourselves, we go for God and to serve His people Not to be served!!(That is not to say that you will not be served, that IS to say you do not go to church to seek your own!) I Cor. 13 says [agape] love does not seek its own! We are to love our brothers and sisters look out for the interests of others, not our own! You seem to mix in several “what if” scenarios as if the Scriptures are only sufficient in a “perfect world”….but the truth is always the truth. We musn’t fashion the church setting/situation into what we want to be, rather we go with the Scriptures in hand desiring what He wants it to be. To that we either rightly respond or we don’t!
Yes, I would assume that the husbands are to be the spiritual leader in the home/to the wife!
, but it’s no excuse not to be in the word..there is always time and grace to do the will of God, I read one comment that was shocked that I would suggest 45 min of time in singing , prayer and Bible study a night….but yet people (perhaps herself) find time to play sports, play instruments, watch TV and movies..etc…but say they cannot spend 45 minutes a night in God’s word. Either He and His word are top priority or the lust of our flesh rule our day..but remember we can ALWAYS find time in our day…The question is how do we use the time God gives us…. I remember reading on your blog a long time ago that you and your family watch American idol… I but the truth is…if you have time for that (which is 2-3 times a week an hour a night?) but cannot fit Bible study into the schedule then your priorities seem to be out of balance. They how much time is used on in blogworld while the kids nap…perhaps that should go in order to nurture our time in the word??? Just thoughts to consider.
For that is the Biblical pattern. (Which is true, in your case). I realize that there are unique situations for some women in a fallen world. But that doesn’t apply to you nor does it soften the truth…A husband should be leading and reviewing the sermon with his family and that is a reasonable solution to your missing parts of the sermon. Also, preaching is still preaching even on CD and in a less than ideal situation…that is a reasonable option as well(But you are not to forsake the assembly of the saints). You are still HEARING the word preached.
Remember, parenting/mothering is a full time job of the family, NOT the church. I am not saying you should never have one on one time with your husband. What I am saying is that the church is not expected to be a baby sitting service…Do you see the difference?
Lastly, I know that having small children is draining… I have already been there, done that got the tee shirt as some would say
…..I repeat…..there is always time to do the will of God!
Lastly, is God’s grace is sufficient or NOT!? It seems the comments and post here seem to declare Biblical truth as unrealistic expectations when you are a mother with small children..etc…it appears that emotions or circumstances are substituted for “truth”.
But God’s grace is sufficient in all seasons of life.This is what we cling to during the days of small children and days with an empty nest! He is faithful..He never fails!
One more thing and then I will be done on this topic!
I found a quote from a girl named Kelly at Generation Cedar about the church/me time issue:
“We are so self-centered we can’t even see it sometimes! It can even be seen in our churches. I had a lady tell me once that she couldn’t believe anyone kept their little ones in the church service. “What if they distracted someone and prevented the Holy Spirit from speaking?” Isn’t this mindset what Jesus rebuked the disciples for? I’ve even heard of a mandatory nursery policy for church members. Do you know why? Because “I am here to receive something for myself, and if there are children around, they may hinder my experience, and then I would miss out.” Now we don’t say that out loud, but that’s the root of the practice.
No, let’s refresh ourselves about the whole purpose of church. It is a place we go to worship, to give of ourselves, to glorify God, and to offer him the sacrifice of praise. There is no ME in that.”
She has a lot of great insight on this topic at the following link:
http://www.generationcedar.com/main/?s=church+nursery
I would encourage you and your readers to check it out.
That’s all for now. Thanks for letting me comment!
Thank you Anonymous for pointing us back to Scripture!
Joy/Fellow Bloggers,
I have been reading the blog for awhile and have read the comments and would like to comment myself. Before I make my own comment though I would like to say that I am concerned with the strong negative comments focused at “Anonymous”. In her discussion she clearly says that she is an elder woman of the Faith. May I lovingly remind all of the discussion participants what the Word of God says concerning the elder woman of Faith and also how we are to treat one another with our speech.
Eph 4:29-32 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. “
Tit 2:3-5 “Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
In her testimony to you, Joy, she is obeying the Word of God and is doing so in a Biblical manner that is clearly defined in the above passage here. At no point does she slander you or speak any evil against you. She speaks with the wisdom of an elder woman of the Faith, she should be revered and not reviled as she has been by these posts (speaking about Facebook posts). Another thing, Joy, you announce to your friends on FB that “Anonymous” has made another blog entry and for everyone to go read it and respond. Pro 29:9 “If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet”. It is unwise to be mocking the wisdom of this elder of the Faith who is sharing what the Lord has taught her and instructed her to share with the younger woman of the Faith. Namely you, Joy, since this is your discussion.
Pro 18:2 “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”
Is it the purpose of this blog to grow and strengthen one another in the fear and admonition of the Lord or is it solely to express our own opinions? If the latter, then this blog has no value or Biblical justification and should be taken down. Pro 12:15 “ The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.” This lady has shared Godly wisdom and council. If we are to be wise as the Word of God says then we should not think more highly of ourselves than we ought to.
Now getting back to the topic at hand, this is the first time I have heard of this “Me Time” concerning matters of worship, although I have heard of mothers complaining about not being able to have a break from being a mom. David and I have been missionaries for 5 years now and I have been on both sides of the fence. I have taken care of the children of the Deaf parents so that they could be involved in the services Sunday after Sunday. I have also experienced this same dilemma as Joy as a mother. Me and my husband, while on furlough, have gone to speak at churches, or attended churches, that are so small no nursery is available. We do only have one child and she is 18 months old. There have been times while we have traveled that it would have been easier if she were in a nursery being cared for even if she was being tended to by strangers in the churches we visited. I have sat alone in the nursery while my husband was with the congregation worshipping and preaching. I felt a little sorry for myself you might say but after awhile I thought about it and it came to me that I wouldn’t want anyone taking care of my child for me while I sat in the sanctuary and they were by themselves. I was more concerned that they were able to hear the message. It’s my child, my responsibility as a parent, not someone else’s. Even so if someone else, friend or stranger, was taking my place I couldn’t even concentrate and enjoy the service. The fact of the matter is that it all boils down to what “Anonymous” says. We who are the church gather together not to be served but to serve one another. Jesus says that if we desire to exalt ourselves we will be humbled. We should be mindful of this every time we begin to feel selfish and desire to demand our “me time”. So this whole discussion/complaint about churches not “meeting ppl where they’re at” and not providing child care for every church function under the sun is really a mute point. If the reason for meeting with other Christians in a building you call a church is to have your felt needs met, whatever you feel they are at the time, then you should just quit going to church altogether because you are never going to be content as long as your focus is on yourself and not on Jesus and the body of Christ.
We are to be “fed” daily with the Scriptures. If we were to only feed our bodies once or twice a week then we would die. Therefore we need to feed ourselves daily and not wait to be fed by someone else on Sundays and Wednesdays. We go to the Word to be fed by the Holy Spirit. If we are trusting in any other means then we are fooling ourselves; no one can feed us but the Lord. It is our responsibility to make this “feeding time” a priority in our day to day living. I find it best to take advantage of Hannah’s nap time to have my commune with God and His Word. And now as I am writing this it is after 9pm and Hannah has been in bed for an hour. Quality time with the Lord is not “hard” to find if you are willing to set it as a priority in your life.
The Biblical model for worship begins in the home with the husband as the role as the Spiritual leader. If you are married and your husband is a believer then this should be standard operating procedure as both husband and wife submit to Christ and one another. I could write a book about this topic and that cult but I’ll leave that alone for now. Our husbands are commanded to wash us with the Word. David and I have weekly Bible studies together and we look forward to having Hannah joining us. For the single mom or for the wife whose husband is not a Christian we must remember that Christ is our Bridegroom and He desires to teach us and wash us with His Word.
The wise words that were shared by “Anonymous” were greatly appreciated by me and should also be appreciated by any young mother who has not experienced everything this elder woman has and can benefit from her example.
Pro 13:16 “In everything the prudent acts with knowledge, but a fool flaunts his folly.”
Dear Anonymous,
If you’re so convicted by what you say and if you’re so sure it’s right and we need to hear this message, I have a question for you. Why don’t you own up to who you are? By remaining anonymous, you imply that you don’t believe what you say and that you do not stand by your convictions. You imply that your words are not worth taking seriously. If you have something to say, put your name on it.
I’m a mother of small children. I have- not too long ago- gone through exactly what Joy is experiencing in church. A combination of things really helped, but one thing specifically played the biggest role: Family devotions at HOME, (which were easier at one point than now, I’m sorry to admit, due to completely conflicting schedules with a night-shift-working father… Although, even as I’m writing this I feel convicted and realize that’s no excuse! I just need to get back to it and not wait for when Daddy’s schedule works with mine…) Anyway, family devotions were the thing that really brought resolution. We did not have a 45 minute time block- probably more like 15 or 20 minutes, tops. We had an older (4 years old, at the time) daughter that really enjoyed it, but our almost-two-year-old son did NOT appreciate having to sit still and pay attention to things that seemed over his head. However, after repeated and consistent emphasis/discipline on taking “God-time” very, very seriously (no jumping on us, climbing down, yelling, talking, playing, over-all distracting us, etc.) we found that, over the course of several weeks, when we firmly whispered “This is “God-time” to him at church, he was able to do better with longer and longer stretches of time just sitting with us during the service.
I much prefer him to sit under the teaching of the Word with me, anyway. I believe a child has spiritual needs, too, and you never know when their little minds are going to tune into a verse that God wants to use even in their lives… I also want to develop a sense of team spirit in my children. I feel like I’m constantly fighting the pull to have us all go our separate ways with our individual lives, and I really just want us all to take turns supporting each other and doing things as a family group. It doesn’t always work out neatly, but the rough road to pursuing group worship has been well worth it.
Now, when I visit other churches, people are absolutely shocked when my three-year old son can sit still and remain very quiet during an entire church service. As they comment on his behavior, flash-backs of the battle it took to get him this far come to mind… and I think it was worth every exasperating, soul-wrenching fight- Now, he keeps asking me questions about Christ, and why he had to “break” for us, and why did the people want to “break” Jesus, and does hell have bad guys in it, and what happens when WE “break,” etc., etc.
I think it’s less discouraging to take one day at a time, and one battle at a time. If I stop to think family devotions aren’t going to work for this stage of our life because the last year has been really hectic, and, even if I really try to get back on track, we’ll probably only get to do them three times per month, blah, blah, blah… well, even if these things WERE true, (and they may just be lies of Satan to scare me away from tackling the problem) at least that was three more times of family devotions that month than if I never tried.
One other thing that helped was prayer. If I felt low and asked for a word from God, it would come in odd places at odd times. There is not too much you can regularly plan for as a young mom of young children… and I found that sometimes I would hear what I needed before I had to leave the service. Sometimes I would find a truth that pulled me through something in devotions I was able to sneak in before children needed me. Sometimes someone would send a Scripture passage my way. When I asked, God gave. I just couldn’t lock Him in a box when it came to meeting my own spiritual needs. I would have preferred a consistent regular time that I could always expect to be fed- like regular consistent devotions that were never interrupted by children or regular participation in church… but, if myself and my friends are any indication, predictable regularity is not the life of a mother in any area.
-Annie
Anonymous,
I am willing to consider some of your points. However, I have one of the points you make I must comment on.
I fail to see how nickpicking how others spend there time is at all encouraging to the body of Christ. I don’t watch a lot of TV but I do enjoy watching certain shows. My husband gets home from work around 12:00 to 1am. I often attempt to wait up for him as I hold out a glimmer of hope that he’ll be home before 11:00 and we can have a much needed conversation.
By that time, my mind is shot. I’ve spent all day working, run home to cook dinner, and then spent time with the herd. I do this all on my own. I have a godly husband but unfortunately we work opposite from each other. I watch some mindless TV so it can keep me up so I can spend 15 mintues with him. I wish I could be so focused as spend time in the Word at that time at night but I’m not.
I am the first to admit that I often fail at reading scripture to my children. It is very difficulty with a 6 year old, a 4 year old, and an almost 2 year old as Joy can attest to. Add it one child that has Autism and has severe focus and attention delays and it’s just about impossible.
I’ve have since learned that they are better at meditating on the Word and we do this by doing things. Tonight, we are going to make paper dolls and we will talk about how God formed us in His image just like we form thos paper dolls. It works for us. My girls are very much concrete thinkers and they will remember this much longer than they do a verse.
While you criticize Joy for blogging, you read and respond as well. Are you not guilty of that as well?
Now, when I visit other churches, people are absolutely shocked when my three-year old son can sit still and remain very quiet during an entire church service. As they comment on his behavior, flash-backs of the battle it took to get him this far come to mind… and I think it was worth every exasperating, soul-wrenching fight- Now, he keeps asking me questions about Christ, and why he had to “break” for us, and why did the people want to “break” Jesus, and does hell have bad guys in it, and what happens when WE “break,” etc., etc.
My 6 year old asks very similar questions but the outword appearance is very differnt. She is not capable sitting in any setting, be at home, be it at church, be it at school. She Autism and she has ADHD. I am not making excuses for her, I am simply giving a reason for why she cannot do this. It is very difficult to take her places because she looks so normal. Nothing shouts that she has special needs versus having a behavior/discipline problem. When you see a child who can’t sit still, please don’t assume that they don’t have the awe of our great God that child who sits and listens. They are all sinners saved by grace.
Amen! What a fantastic response.
Wow. I have now poured through the comments and feel the need to toss my hat into the mix here.
FYI, I am mother to five (ages 11, 7, 6, 4, and 19 months). The eldest has cerebral palsy and epilepsy. And I lead the women’s ministry at our church (congregation of about 2000, the WM volunteer team is about 36).
Joy – I 100% back you up in the statement that, like Jesus, we should take time alone with our Father. I also agree that having opportunities to worship and hear the preaching of the Word in a corporate setting are important aspects to this. I do not agree, though, that the church is failing to fulfill their duty. Or maybe they are – the thing is, WE are the church.
Anon – You are correct in stating that we must MAKE time each day to spend with the Lord.
Heather – We should absolutely respect Anonymous as an elder woman in the faith.
See, everyone is a little bit right! But everyone is a little bit wrong. It is wrong to intentionally engage a bunch of people into a (heated) debate – this is causing strife in the Body. It is wrong to pick apart how someone else spends their leisure time – pointing out the spec in another’s eye. It is wrong to accuse the motive’s of another person’s self-expression.
How about we focus on trying to be helpful in this (almost universal) struggle for mothers?!
- Find a group of friends and take turns spending a Sunday in the nursery with each other’s children.
- Contact other parents of young ones and rally them together to take turns.
- Bring lots of little things to keep your children quiet and busy during church (cheerios, raisins, colouring supplies, dinky cars).
- If possible, ask your husband to take a turn leaving the service with the children.
- Listen to the songs from church at home regularly, that way the children will know them and participate in worship (rather than distract).
- Make time every day to pray and read the Word. When your kids are little, try small things like reading a short chapter while in the washroom, getting up just 15 minutes earlier to pray, posting verses around your home on index cards, and reading them aloud as you pass by them, try family devotions weekly (if daily won’t work).
- Most importantly, pray. Pray that the Lord meets you where you are. Pray that He will provide pieces of time for you to spend in worship. Pray for your church and their children’s ministry. Pray for God to reveal His will for your role in that ministry. (On a side note – I have discovered that, often, when we feel passionately about something (or about how something is not being done well), it is because God is stirring up our hearts for it. Because He is calling us to step out and make changes, start ministries, change our churches for Him.)
Much love,
ET (a mom who has been there)
I understand Joy’s dilemma. I served in children’s ministries for decades until I had young ones. Then in exhaustion and weariness I chose to not spend the two hours at church with children. I served in other manners. I wanted a break from kiddos. I was super weary. I was even angry. Often. I just wanted to listen to the Word without the constant distraction of my kiddos that left me tired and out of touch with what was said. How do I have corporate worship if I am constantly redirecting children?
Two things stand out from that last paragraph. Corporate “church time’ does/can feed our souls, but it is not about me, it is about the Lord. So while there I do serve, just not with kiddos for a while (I eventually returned to the nursery when mine were much older). I treasured the two hours to worship the Lord in song and the word- corporately. I would love for young moms to get to be in the service more often. They need lots of Spirit and Word time. But I desire that for everyone, not just young moms.
The other thing that stands out was that I was angry. I resented the constant demand and energy that motherhood necessitates. I was mighty self-focused. That was my failing, not the churches. I am NOT accusing you of this, just sharing my heart and my struggles. I had to learn to accept that the church was not there to “meet my needs”. I am to get that from the Triune God. He showed me that I could get up at 5:30AM to spend time with Him at home. That was the only time available for years. Somehow He enabled me to do this. That time in the Word with the Spirit was a treasure.
I am also NOT saying that to be a good Christian you have to get up at 5:30AM for Bible time. Just saying that the Lord will provide time with Him, and that time with Him alone is as important as time in corporate worship, and that corporate worship is not about us, rather it is about Him.
So while I understand your pain and frustration, perhaps you also might need a heart check. At least I did.
P.S. I think Anonymous just meant to show Joy a possible time she could incorporate some Bible time with the kids (I think she was just trying to give encouraging instruction), not saying it is sinful for her to ever watch TV. Some grace here. We are to avoid believing the worst about another’s motives. Nor are we to assume another’s motives. That is what I hate about communication via the computer. It is difficult to convey emotions.
Just so you know, I have a lot of kindness and compassion in my tone as I write all of this. :0)
Just to follow up on the recent posts. I think they’re awesome and have a lot of wisdom and love in them. As long as we remember that it’s not about us I think, eventually, we will be able to see God’s grander plan for our lives and how to best be a blessing to others!
This is what a blog should be about! Encouragement, uplifting one another and of the younger (though not meaning inexperienced) women learning from older and wiser women!
May God be glorified in and through us all
~Heather~
I want to say what a blessing your posts have been to me. I do not know you personally but have admired your honesty and your love for the Lord.
Let me say I am an aged women (60 on May 17). Although I have not walked in your shoes, only you have. I completely understand your frustration with not getting to enjoy service without distractions.
I have always had the luxury of a nursery, Primary and Junior church. It is great to sit and be able to focus on the worship service. I have stayed in the nursery for 35 years since my children were small and feel it is the least I can do to make the service more uplifting and renewing. Yes we are there to honor God but we also need to hear those things He has for us. I am praying that you and your church can somehow work out a viable solution.
I love staying in the nursery. We have TV monitors in our nursery but with 18 to 20 toddlers it is hard to hear the message God has given our Pastor to share with us. We have about 140 young, middle aged and older men and women who assist with child care. To God be the glory.
I have recently became a grandmother and love taking care of my granddaughter so that my daughter and her husband (the pastor) can attend to ministry necessities (which can come at anytime and involve anything) and also have some leisure time to spend with each other and friends.
Parenting is the greatest job anyone can have not to be taken lightly but it can also be frustating and everyone needs a break. I can’t even imagine how you get things done sometimes especially with your special needs daughter that now resides in heaven.
A lot of the Bible has been quoted in these posts and sometimes we use the Word to tell others how they should live but the truth is that God expects each of us to follow His Word and He alone will guide us.
I am praying that you and others in your church can work out a solution to this need you and probably others in your church have. And to God be the glory.
Wow, so many comments! i love it. it actually made me realize that i should be doing bible time with my family, to my shame i havent done a single one..:( and i have 3 kids, 4yr, 2yr, and a 3mnt old. reading all the comments opened my eyes on how i spend my time, and how i am raising my kids without the family worship. i guess i better start today… with Gods help! What a good idea.
I believe that our attitudes toward “me time” are a biggie. While the practical appearance may be the same, there is a vast difference between taking “me time” because, “I deserve it; after all, look what I do for everyone else!” and taking it because, “I need to be renewed and refilled so that I have something to give back to others.”
With that said, I don’t believe the church meeting should be “me time.” (I’m new here, so I didn’t see the original post, but that’s the gist I’m getting from these comments.) This is corporate worship. Corporate worship is for all of God’s people, and that includes our children. In Scripture, children were consistently included in this. (And lest you should think that I am simply being trite, I have an 8yo and a very, very difficult 3yo, both of whom have been in church services with us since birth. I do live this reality.)
Definitely, the Church should be supporting us as mothers, in part by giving us that time to stop and breathe. But this should be happening in more of a lifestyle-type way, throughout the week, not by removing our children from worship.
Hi Rachel! Thanks for reading and for your comment.
I feel compelled to share that this post was written about a year and a half ago, in the midst of a very difficult time in our lives (our oldest daughter had passed away just 6 months prior and I had 3 younger children, one of whom had significant medical needs as well). It was also a very challenging time in the life of that particular church (our pastor was on sabbatical, several families had left leaving huge holes in ministry, my husband was helping to fill the pulpit along with all the normal teaching he did, and the two of us were filling as many of those ministry holes as we could). In re-reading it these many months later, I believe it’s reflective of those specific circumstances and the extreme depletion of my soul at the time, rather than of how the body of Christ should approach worship in general.
I agree with you that children are a blessing and shouldn’t necessarily be removed. However, I do believe that providing an alternative for families might be one way to minister to them, especially if they are at a low point in their spiritual life (as I was at the time of this post).
Thank you for joining in!
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