Despite being a mom for ten years, I still can’t kick my obsession with efficiency. I do things as quickly as I can, arranging things and schedules to get the most done with the least effort.
Kids don’t get that. They see the pile of shoes waiting for feet by the garage door and think, “I bet these will look really cool bouncing down the stairs!”
Then I come racing along, ready to drop kids into shoes and throw them into the van, and find all the shoes in a pile at the bottom of the stairs. And I grumble and complain the whole way down the stairs because their completely-appropriate childish experiments with gravity added a whole 2 minutes to my exit time.
Spouses don’t get it either. I use the same glass for water all day long, so I don’t have to wash a new glass for every new drink of water I take. I attempt to force the kids to use the same cup all day as well, though that means I spend my entire life hunting for the 2-year-old’s cup. But my spouse is a declutterer (which is a good thing). He sees cups laying around, swipes them, and plops them in the dishwasher. (Also a good thing.) But sometimes I get really peeved by that.
I have actually caught myself stomping down the hall after something like this and thinking “These people really screw up my systems. My life would be so much simpler without them.”
U. G. L. Y. I ain’t got an alibi. I’m ugly.
There’s nothing wrong with being efficient, being on time, not wasting time or energy or dish soap. But being willing to sacrifice relationships with my family for the sake of efficiency and my systems, is flat-out wrong. It’s selfishness, self-worship, self-centeredness.
My prayer these days is “God help me get my priorities right and keep them there!” I seem to err too far towards laziness/irresponsibility or too far towards inflexibility/task focus. I’d love any suggestions you have for finding the balance in the middle.
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I can so relate to this post. Sometimes I am totally exasperated that my people just don't learn to do it MY way! The only advise i can give is go to the creator. I get so UGLY that I hate myself, and it always brings me back to my creator. Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication, that's where it's at! He always brings it into focus.
Love your blog!
Thanks! I guess part of changing is coming to the point where we actually SEE how ugly our sin is, where we hate it, and we go to the only one who can help us escape it.
Okay I am definitely no expert… by any stretch of the imagination!! But practically speaking, the thing that helps me the MOST… I mean, truly the most… in staying 'in love' with my kiddos… is reading to them. I mean just sitting on the rocker-recliner and reading and tickling them and doing nothing but hanging out and listening to their silliness. I get so much joy out of their joy that even if I'm ticked off at them 10 minutes later for… whatever… I'm not AS much so. I think it's just because I've taken time to enjoy them… I know when I've been overly cranky with them and short-tempered I realize… have I been spending time with them? And usually when I reach those over-the-edge times I realize no, it's because I haven't given them ME.
P.S. I must preface this by saying, I first and foremost must be humbling myself before the Lord because otherwise, it doesn't matter WHAT I do, it's a wash…
ugh… it is not easy looking yourself in the mirror and seeing our true selves sometimes, eh? but thank goodness His mercies are new every morning…
I'll have to try that, Wendy. It's one of those counter-intuitive things because when I'm grumpy and impatient with the kids, fooling around with them is usually the last thing on my mind.
Wow. You nailed it. I've been very UGLY lately too, for the same reasons too. Wierd – parallel universe?
You're right, it's about priorities. I like what Wendy said about reading to and enjoying your kids.
On your knees asking God over and again to scrape away this sludge that has risen to the top of your life once more (in fact, almost constantly) until we are refined. By the time He takes us out of this life or comes to get us in the air we are liquid gold!
Do not grow weary (angry?) in well doing, for in due season you shall reap if you faint not.
I like that verse, but it must be hard not to faint or why would it be said this way?
I'm not able to say it as eloquently, but see if "The Woman I was Meant to Be" isn't almost the same thing (at the Nother Hole).
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who uses the same glass all day for water, and my kids use the same cup all day for water
Trying to stay in balance is the story of my life. I am a person of extremes–not good. I'm so glad God is patient with me as I navigate these rough waters of finding balance.
Thanks for your honesty!
There's this verse in Proverbs that talks about how an ox makes a mess… but "much increase comes by the strength of the ox." Of course, it's hard to remember when you're running late and can't find the stinkin' shoes