ThetaMom is host
ing a blog celebration this week, in which she asked her readers to share what makes them a Theta Mom, a The True, Authentic Mom. “Theta Moms are authentic because we live authentic lives. Life isn’t perfect and neither are our kids.” This is my contribution.
Since I first learned to put letters together into words, writing has given me freedom to be my most real “me.” For some reason, speaking the total blood-honest truth is almost impossible. But writing it… that I can do.
See, conversation is always impromtu, and I am clumsy. I trip over and fumble words, jumble my thoughts together, stop short for fear of saying the wrong thing, or blurt too harsh or completely thoughtless. Then I lay, staring into the dark, wincing again at how boorish or furtive I was that day.
Putting pen to paper, or keys to screen, allows me to pour out my soul one word at a time. Then, I edit until the words waltz and harmonize (at least, I get closer to that ideal). Writing gives me confidence to lay down my “Everything is Fine” false front and be genuine: depressed, sad, silly, confused, angry, sarcastic, hopeful, tired, crazy, thoughtful, hurt. This mom is all of those things every day.
I have revised and updated this post. Click here to read the rest.
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Thank you for sharing that amazing post. You are well deserving of the ThetaMom giveaway, even though after reading about your life that seems pretty trivial. I love your message about appreciating what we have and life.
Well said. I am not sure I see what you are apologizing for, though. Nothing comes across as harsh or judgemental, just honest. Keep growing! Wish I knew you in person.
I want to be your friend!
Really, I do. 
This was an amazing post. *hugs* for the loss of your daughter and cheers that you are willing to get messy! I love it! 
I look forward to reading more of your blog.
I am not a typical Christian mom either… it brought tears to my eyes to hear your defiance and your integrity. Thank you… I just began my blog and I will use yours as inspiration.
where do you live? anywhere in TX? no, probably not. i would LOVE to meet you. we have many things in common…you’re just a better writer than i am…you say it MUCH better:) no, i’ve never lost a child who survived birth. i like the way you think:)
martha brady recently posted..THE CASE OF THE MISSING LUGGAGE…
I’m sorry for your loss of your little girl. I haven’t lost a child but my sister has – her youngest, 14 mos. old. I know from that experience that this kind of grief can open up new questions that we thought were once settled- relating to faith.
II Peter 1:3-4a says “According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue: Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: …”
As for the questions about God’s thoughts… I personally only trust the KJV (for good reasons- too much to go on here but I have some about it at my blog). You really need to make the Word of God your final authority about those topics. If you find yourself questioning what the bible clearly says is wrong, I mean the kind of questioning that says “sorry God, I just don’t believe you’re right on this”… you are going to continue to struggle with a lack of peace. If you ever want to chat, I’m following you on FB as well, I’m very accessible. Give me a hollar
Tracy @ Hall of Fame Moms recently posted..Chili’s winner!
I’m going for the Most Profound Comment Award, all right? You ready?
I think you’re freaking cool.