wordpress stats plugin

Get Naked: The Most Important Writing Advice You Will Ever Read

Ok, that might be a little bit of hyperbole. But as we close out the year, I want to share the most important writing advice I’ve ever run across. It is at the heart of the weekly blogging meme I started in 2011 called life:unmasked (link up your unmasked posts here every Wednesday!). It is the heart and soul of what and why I write. I originally published this post on BlogHer 18 months ago.

"I'm naked" cartoon

“Writers fail because they come to the page fully clothed. They adorn themselves with fanciful plots and layer themselves with complicated character development. They use flowery prose and words you have to look up in the dictionary. They do this not to impress their readers, but to keep their readers at arm’s length. They’re afraid. Afraid to bare their souls and inject themselves into their work. For that they are cowards.

“Don’t simply tell me that faith saves you, tell me how it almost failed you, too. Don’t tell me about love, speak of your passion. Don’t tell me you’re hurt, let me see your heart breaking. I don’t want to see your talent on the page, I want to see your blood. Dare to be naked before your readers. Because that is writing, and everything else is worthless crap.”

Quoted with permission from  “Writing Naked” by Billy Coffey.

Before you continue reading, please please please go read his entire post. It’s worth the five minutes. I will wait.

I read that post when Billy originally published it. What he and his writing instructor said affirmed the gut instinct and fire I’ve had in my belly about writing.

I won’t lie. Writing naked is difficult. Terrifying. It feels exactly like getting naked in front of people.

But I push through my fear. Strip down. Bleed all over my notebooks and computer screen.

Why?

Because I don’t just write for me, I write for you.

Billy is right. Writing naked connects with people. And that’s what I want — to connect with you, to help you recognize that you are not alone, that we’re in this thing together.

Dozens of men and women battling alongside me to overcome depression have emailed to thank me for being willing to tell my story with all the ups and downs.

Grieving parents and family members have found a virtual shoulder to cry on in posts in which I’ve poured out my agony, grief, and anger about the life and death of my daughter, Elli. While each of our losses is unique, we share an I-will-never-be-the-same pain.

I’ve waded into theology, despite the conservative church’s resistance to women in theology, in hopes that other women will find their appetites whetted for deep thinking. I also hope that men will recognize that we have valuable insight that they need and do not have.

But just as some people are uncomfortable with real nakedness, some do not appreciate naked writing. I have learned that the backlash can be swift and severe.

One of the scariest posts I’ve ever published was the one in which I wrote a really personal post about defying stereotypes and about the spiritual demolition and reconstruction I’ve undertaken over the past few years. Dozens of people poured out their relief in comments and emails over the fact that someone was willing to put into words what they were experiencing — that I’m not completely sure about my faith.

But I also caught a lot of flak for that post (and others like it, particularly about my questions about faith). Some expressed tremendous concern and discomfort, fearing that my raw posts about doubt could feed someone else’s doubt (is doubt contagious?). Some were offended, feeling that I was putting down those who do fit the stereotypes I reject.

I hear them. I get that they think that writing naked is indecent, improper, possibly even dangerous. I agree that this kind of writing can be hard to read.

Here’s the thing though. No form of communication is perfect. Some forms fit certain people better than others, both writers and readers.

As much as I get where they are coming from, I simply cannot put some clothes on my writing. For me, writing with clothes on is fake and results in garbage. The truth is that life can dump you into a latrine, and let me tell you, when you’re swimming in excrement, Mrs. Sunshine chirping cliches and pretending all is fine doesn’t help. You need someone who has been there and survived, who knows how you can get out and get cleaned up. That is both hope and help.

I refuse to be fake with you. One of my core values as a writer and as a person is to pursue being genuine, honest, authentic. I cannot do other than write naked, come what may. If you don’t like it, that’s okay. You’re free to read or write what best fits you.

I will not compromise my integrity as a person or as a writer to please those who prefer pat answers, religious jargon, God in a nice neat box, and rainbows.

 

What do you think? Is there such a thing as writing too naked?  Should I have used the name “write naked” instead of “life unmasked?” Will you be joining Life:Unmasked this year?

 

Deep Breath: Best Post Written in Five Minutes

I’ve participated in The Gypsy Mama’s Friday writing prompt “Five Minute Fridays” numerous times over the past year. She gives a prompt and then we write, unedited, for five minutes. Then publish it. This post, on the prompt “deep breath,” is my favorite.

P.S. I made a hilarious error writing it so fast. Can you find it?

Russian Swimmers Sports Visitors in Floridaphoto © 2010 Exchanges Photos | more info (via: Wylio)

 

I sit in the queue, in the merciful shade. The desert sun evaporated my swimsuit within minutes after our warm-up.

The caller yells out heat numbers and lane numbers, and we shuffle forward one row at a time as the time of my heat nears. I flex and bend the card I will give the time-keeper when I reach my designated lane.

My  name, my team name, my seed number. The number that encompasses my swimming skill compared to everyone else.

It’s discouraging.

My adrenaline starts flowing as I eye my competitors. We’ve been racing one another all season. They are familiar. I know how well they swim. I am determined to be the dark horse this race, this final championship meet, to break out of the pack from my edge lane and stun the cheering crowd.

Adrenaline.

It has such a stimulating effect that I can hardly hold still. My feet start drumming on the pitted concrete.

Shuffle forward.

We’re next. We walk in orderly line towards the starting blocks, standing behind the timers waiting for this round of swimmers to put in their time. They lunge out of the water, flinging droplets everywhere.

“Heat 12, freestyle, high-school ladies. Step forward.”

I stand on the block, shaking my arms to calm the nerves.

“Swimmers ready. Take your mark.”

Deep breath.

The gun fires and we’re off.

God, Grief, Child Killers, and Second Chances

Featured on BlogHer.comFrom July 30-August 7 I traveled to Bolivia with a team of bloggers and staff from World Vision. This trip was like childbirth. I’ve been pregnant with a less-cerebral-more-active faith, but that faith was finally delivered on a dirt path among the poorest of the world’s poor. This newborn faith is transforming my perspective on everything. Just a few weeks after I returned to the U.S., I wrote this post for The People of the Second Chance, which was later picked up by BlogHer.

Grieving is like learning to ride a bicycle. After you’ve full-body-and-spirit grieved once, you never forget how. It sweeps in without warning and the devastating force of a hurricane at the merest hint of sorrow. It takes over your body: swollen aching sinuses from hours of crying, pounding headache, bitter salt taste coating your mouth and throat, bone-deep exhaustion, unshakable heaviness.

I recently agreed to write for People of the Second Chance’s new campaign, “Never Beyond.” I had planned to write about forgiveness, how much it costs, and how while we should be willing to give forgiveness, it must be asked of us first, before we give it.

The morning of the day I’d planned to start writing, I saw a tweet with this headline. “Father confesses to decapitating special-needs son.”

Blindside.

Tears welled up before I clicked. After I read the story, I couldn’t stop crying for this little boy and for his mother. My grief for them was as fresh and raw and full-bodied as my grief for my daughter Ellie. She had the same condition as the murdered boy.

I didn’t grieve for the father. I hated that man with a body-wracking blind rage. He killed a helpless child in a way designed to torment his wife.

Casey Anthony and People of the Second Chance

But as the rage retreated, the sobs slowed, and exhaustion settled like fog, I thought about the People of the Second Chance again. I thought about this week’s Never Beyond poster, Casey Anthony, and I thought about her dead child.

How could I write about the “Never Beyond” campaign? I wanted to email POTSC and tell them I was backing out. But I didn’t.

I realized that if I believe in the power of God to redeem anyone and to overcome evil, how could I turn around and insist that this man is beyond all hope of a second chance?

What does that even mean?

When Jesus spoke to people about reconciling with God, he talked about confessing and repenting. He asks us to name our sin, calling it what it is (confess), and turn away from it to do what is right (repent). Have you ever done that? It is tough.

This man, should he come to his senses one day and recognize the unspeakable wrong he did to his son and to his wife, if he confesses and repents of it, and prostrates himself before God pleading for mercy, should he not receive forgiveness and a second chance?

God knows our hearts – God sees a scammer and a fraud, and God knows genuine brokenness and repentance. If this man truly repented, God would forgive him. This is God’s promise – to forgive and restore repentant sinners. If he failed to do so in this case, none of us would have any hope.

He has forgiven and restored me countless times. I have lied and cheated and stolen and worshipped false gods and dishonored my parents and coveted … oh how I have coveted. And if Jesus meant this literally when he said that a person who looks at someone with hatred is guilty of murder, then I’ve murdered too.

I don’t exactly know what second chances look like – I suspect it varies with the person and the situation. I do know that second chances don’t free us from the natural consequences of our actions. Second chances cannot undo the harm of the original sin to others or to ourselves. This man took a child’s life. That cannot be reversed. The pain I’ve inflicted on others with my sins and the damage I’ve done to myself cannot be taken back. But when Jesus gives us a second chance, he shows us a way forward. In a mysterious way we cannot understand, God redeems our sin and brings good out of it.

Please don’t hear me wrong. I am not saying that God renames evil as “good.” I do not believe that God will never say, “The murder of this child is good” or “Cancer is good” or “Rape is good.” Sin is sin. But God can bring something good out of sin and evil. We see this most clearly in Jesus’s death – he was a threat to the established leaders. But in the murder of his Son, God defeated death and sin and removed the need for the sacrificial system and made peace between us and God.

God is a God of second chances. As his people, we need to be people of second chances.

***

I’ve been thinking about second chances a lot lately. I plan to write about this in January. I want to know what you think about this, especially about the church and its response to sin in the lives of its members. Does the church [do we] give second chances the way God does? Why or why not?

 

 

Switch to our mobile site