I’m in the midst of a 12-day blog retrospective, in which I’m highlighting some of my favorite posts of this year. In May, I started what ended up being a month-long series on worship, lament, and honesty. This post, titled “How To Stop Lying in Church,” kicked things off.
You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking you as a precious jewel
Lord to give up I’d be a fool
You are my all in all
We sing this song fairly often when we get together with other Christians. Many of the phrases come right out of the Bible, the message is sound — that God is worth more than anything else, etc etc etc.
But I can’t sing it.
I can confess with my mouth what it implies about God — that God is a source of strength, that He is worthy of being sought and found, and that He is of infinite worth.
But this song, like many others, doesn’t praise God for those things. This song puts those attributes of God into statements about where He fits into my own life that aren’t true. Not all the time, anyway. Not even most of the time.
I have fleeting moments when I can see the world and my life for the temporary things that they are. But those moments are just that… fleeting.
The rest of the time, I want what I want. I am my all in all. The treasure that I seek is all that stuff out there. On any given day, it might be fame or influence or furniture or clothes or gadgets or cars or more money or more time or more sleep or tasty food or decadent dessert. Sometimes, I recognize that I’m my all in all in that moment and I wrestle with myself. Sometimes I fight to quench my insatiable coveting appetite.
But sometimes, God isn’t even on my radar. There is no fight to get my priorities straight because I just don’t care. Too many days, life is all about me.
So how dare I stand up before God and everyone and lie as I sing, “You are my all in all”?
I don’t. I don’t dare do it.
Some days, I just don’t sing at all. I pray while everyone else sings, confessing to God that this isn’t true of me, that sometimes I don’t care if it’s true of me, and that I need His help.
Sometimes, I change the words. For example, I might sing “You should be my all in all.”
Sometimes, I only sing the lines that I can, and stand silent for the lines that I can’t.
What do you do when the songs or readings have you making untrue statements about God’s position in your life? Do you even notice?
(Don’t miss the remaining posts in this series on worship: How Happy Songs Hurt, Without Lament We Lie About God, Hypocrisy 101 – Five Tips for Worship Leaders, Leading People Into Honest Worship – 5 Tips part 2, and Worship Series Epilogue: If We Sing What We Really Mean)
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Yeah, I admit it, when I sing worship songs and hymns at church, sometimes I’m thinking about what I’m going to have for lunch instead of what the words mean. “I Could Sing of Your Love Forever” becomes “I Could Sing of My Love For Chipotle.”
Travis Mamone recently posted..Christmas With My Father (A Repost)
Hahahah! If I’m thinking of food, I’m usually thinking of Chik-fil-A and how I always crave it on the days they are closed.
On the one hand, I’m a big fan of songs that make me sing the truth of the gospel (which is true no matter how I feel), but I’m also hesitant to write off songs that express what ought to be true in my response. But I suppose there’s a difference between singing in a given moment about what we do desire to be, and singing something we perhaps don’t have the desire for at that moment?
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I think the difference is whether we’re really engaged with the music or if we’re mindlessly singing. I caught myself doing that with the traditional Christmas music this last week or so… just singing along while my mind was in another place altogether. If I look at the words and soak up their meaning, then I can make a choice whether to sing them as a declaration or as a request.
Thanks for sharing this one.
Sharon @ Hiking Toward Home recently posted..Preparing for Christmas
It sure is nice to hear that others approach this in a similar way, even choosing not to sing some songs. Sometimes I think I’m rather odd.
When I have led worship – or even sang with a band – every song was something I needed to believe deeply and personally relate to so I could sing with integrity. I would plan and pray. I would work hard to make sure my heart was submitted to HIS. Too often as a worshiper, we come with no preparation of our hearts and songs become mere words. There are songs I sing and start crying. There are songs I refuse to sing because the musicality of them sweep me to easily into meaninglessness or the words are nonsense. Then there are songs where I change the words or sing silently or pray through. I think it really has to do with the worshiper coming ready to worship the King – not to sing to feel good about ourselves. That means I should probably be putting as much preparation into participating in worship as I would when I would lead it. Also – periodically if a song really is “off” I might let the worship team know – so that maybe it won’t get scheduled in the future. Some worship leaders are more open to that kind of feedback than others though so I have to tread carefully and humbly.
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It made me chuckle to read that you find some songs have nonsense words.
I agree, and am thankful that mostly we’ve had worship leaders who watch for that and choose songs that speak truth about God and us in a meaningful way. But I guess what I would like to see more is acknowledgement that this is difficult, that we need to prepare like you describe, and that we can sing as prayers those songs that don’t reflect where we are. I don’t hear anyone acknowledge or teach about this.
I just don’t sing along with those songs. Occasionally, I will take the “Lord, help my unbelief” route and actually pray during the singing that I may BELIEVE and manifest the thoughts/ attitudes expressed by the lyrics the NEXT time it is sung.
this is me, too. i usually sing with it because i love to sing so much, but i am praying at the same time for god to make it true in my life. he is working out my faith. he is. not me.
the song i quit singing for a long long long time was “savior, he can move the mountians. my god is mighty to save….” after my nephew died because he didn’t wake up to cough, i was furious with god. yeah. he can move mountains but doesn’t awaken a 22-year-old to cough. what is that? that anger is resolved now. and i can sing again. praise him for that work in my life….
kendal recently posted..on running and blooms and word
*sigh* I get that anger — I have battled that too.