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A Plain Ol’ Ordinary Love Letter

laundryYou’re lounging on the couch, still sporting the blanket under which you napped.

“Now that’s a hot husband – one who’s folding laundry!”

You laugh when I say it. I laugh too, but I mean it.

I don’t think you realize just how hot it is when you wash dishes, scrub down the bathrooms, help the kids clean up their perpetually-disastrous rooms, run the vacuum, and clear everything out of the way when you cut your hair so I don’t find bits of hair in my toothbrush.

Not every man will do that. I know this. But you do.

You know what your willingness to dive into the work with me says to me? It says that you and me? We’re in this together. We’ve got each other’s back, in spite of our quirks, flaws, and mistakes.

When I fail to balance the check book correctly and we run out of money five days after pay-day, you rolled up your sleeves instead of getting angry and bitter, and together we figured out how to get through.

When you leave your clean laundry in [neat…ish] piles on the floor for days on end, I smile and remember how my mom always says, “Even ‘cleanies’ have a place where they’re messy.” (Then I give serious eyes to my clothes pile, and my book piles, and my orphan-socks pile, and my grab-everything-off-the-counter-before-company-comes-over piles, and I remember that I have no room to criticize.)

You show me an episode of Wayne’s World and let me in on your secret – all your favorite lines come from those old Saturday Night Live episodes. I relish this glimpse into what makes you you. (Time for a little quid pro quo, I believe. Prepare yourself — we must watch Anne of Green Gables and Little Women next.)

Even though I give you a hard time about your little quirks, like insisting on washing the van before we take a road trip or talking about cutting your hair for days (sometimes weeks) before you actually do it or refusing to even try almond milk because “you can’t milk an almond,” I love those things about you, too. I love how you are able to get me to laugh, chill out when I’m getting too intense, and not take life so seriously.  I’m quite certain that your easy-going-ness is prolonging the life of this type-A woman.

I had no idea how much I’d love the ordinary little things about you. I’m the lucky one.


Each Monday, Scott and I join Amber and Seth in a weekly series we’re calling “Marriage Letters.” We hope you’re encouraged in your own relationships by these notes, and we hope you’ll consider joining us some week. If you wrote this week, link up below! Read Scott’s letter here.

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  1. Love this so much, Joy, especially this line: “I had no idea how much I’d love the ordinary little things about you.” That’s where I find myself in my marriage these days too. Thank you for sharing!

  2. I don’t see a link up at Amber’s so I thought I would post my letter here: http://www.brownpaperandstrings.com/letter-to-daniel-making-up/

    My man washes dishes, vacuums, and all that stuff you mentioned too. I sometimes take that blessing for granted.

  3. love it, joy. the ordinary is indeed extraordinary.

    just yesterday, i was in the produce section at wal-mart, & there was a family (i assume) of three. and i overheard her mentioning to him a few interesting ingredients for a recipe that was clearly far over my simple culinary head. and for whatever reason, maybe b/c we don’t usually make groc. shopping a family event, i started thinking about the ordinary-ness of it. and how unprepared we all are before marriage for the ordinary — & therefore often miss the immense value in it. we’re sorta trained to think that a that a thriving relationship means a thrill ride through life that takes your breath away — exclusively in good ways.

    so i join you in applauding our spouses for the extraordinary act of love & sacrifice that it is to do the ordinary. and mutually celebrating those little quirks that make us who we are.

  4. TriciaRatner says:

    Hi Joy, this is great! I agree with you, simple things are treasured much if you would only see through the meaning of it. Thank you for sharing this beautiful post. This is so inspiring…

  5. Ordinary love letters have to be the best! Love this.

  6. These are my new favorite post to read! Last week was my first link up with Amber. Loved reading your letters!

  7. Beautiful. I’m still laughing about milking an almond.

    I knew my husband loved me when he went out in a blizzard to go back to the video store and get the 6 hour A&E version of Pride and Prejudice because I had gotten the wrong one – the BBC 3 hour version, which wasn’t nearly as good and didn’t have Colin Firth. And then he watched the whole thing with me.

    But then, I watched all the series of Battlestar Galactica with him. 😉


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