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I Don’t Call You Names ~ Marriage Letters

Dear Scott,

When I read the writing prompt for this week, “On the Names I Call You,” I had no idea what to write. I don’t really have any special names for you. Plenty of people have nicknamed you — “Connick,” “Scotty,” “Woddy,” “S. Wod,” and my favorite, “Russian Bear” by the security guard in New York City. Back in college we had our BBS names, but I don’t think I ever called you “Linguine” in person.

My sisters won’t let me forget the one year when I was a wee bit smitten with you when I may or may not have named a Scotch pine we bought for Christmas “Scotty.” (You got lucky with me — my name shows up in songs and Christmas cards. I had to get creative looking for yours in every day life.)

I can’t call you “Babe” — it just doesn’t fit. I mean, the guy didn’t name you “Russian Bear” for no reason. You can’t be a Russian Bear and also be a Babe. Bears are strong and tough and burly and protective, and babes just… aren’t. I suppose “Stud” would fit, but I’ve never liked that word. It implies that all you are to me is a sperm donor. You are so much more than that.

It isn’t that I’m anti-nickname, either. We nicknamed our kids things like “Peanut” and “Bub” and “Sissy” (for sister, not for wimp). I’ve nicknamed friends, and those nicknames have stuck for years.

But I’ve never nicknamed you. Sometimes I throw around words like “Hottie” and “Handsome,” but they aren’t really names for you, just descriptors, ways of saying “I’ve got the hots for you” and “I’ve only got eyes for you.” The gooey schmaltzy names like “Schmootzy Poo” and “Bitsy Pookums” just aren’t my style, or yours.

You get different names when I refer to you with others. You’re “your dad” when I’m talking about you to the kids. You’re Mr. Bennett to the neighbor kids. You’re “my husband, Scott” in introductions, at school, and at work. The closest I get to giving you another name is when I call you “Honey.” But it’s a little silly — nicknames are supposed to be shorter and easier than one’s given name. You don’t get much shorter and easier than “Scott.”

Maybe I just haven’t found the right term of endearment yet. We’ll have to write about this in another 15 years and see what we call each other then.




Thinking about joining us for our weekly marriage letters? Next week’s prompt is “I Trust You Because.” If you wrote a letter this week, don’t forget to add your post to the linky on Amber’s marriage letter. Don’t miss Seth Haines’ and Scott’s letters this week.


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  1. This post tickles me to death! So funny!

    I have always called Seth “Baby.” However, yesterday, because of my “baby” habit, we endured a very awkward moment where I asked one of our dear guy friends, “Travis? Would you like some sweet tea, baby?”


    • I am so not surprised that you would have such an awkward moment, being the Southerner you are. Scott and I were speculating that you might call just about anyone “Love” and “Sugar” and “Baby.” But prob’bly not Sweet Cheeks. 😀

  2. 🙂 A nickname never fits unless it just rolls off the tongue in a moment of spontaneity. He sounds like a great guy and one who might not love a nickname that much anyway. Cute letter!

    • [I think you might win the best “recently posted” blog post title award with this one. Ahahahahah!]

      He’s definitely one who defies nicknaming.

  3. Schmootzy Poo…HILARIOUS.

  4. Russian Bear. hee hee

  5. I like Russian Bear. Maybe RB for short?

    Then again, you can’t force it. My husband has a name for me he’s been using for 20 years; he never even calls me Kelly anymore. (Sounds weird if he does. It usually means he’s annoyed.) But I can’t find a suitable name for him. It is what it is.

    • That’s so funny! I have couple-friends like that, and it’s so cute to hear them use a name for each other that no-one else uses.

    • Handsfull says:

      We’re the same! The only time my husband has called me my name since we’ve been married was during our biggest ever fight. And he called me by my name for 3 days. We don’t have fights very often (like maybe one a year), so this was a really, really big deal… and I was very relieved when I became ‘Honey’ again! Lol!

  6. The study/sperm donor comment cracked me up. I had such a hard time with this prompt. We use Babe, but for some reason it doesn’t sound so ’80s surfer dude when my husband and I say it out loud. And I have nicknames for the kids and zillions of other people in my life, but not really for my husband. At least I know I’m not alone in this. 🙂

    • Nope, not alone. 🙂 I don’t mind it when Scott calls me Babe, but I just can’t call him that.

  7. I call everybody “baby” and “love” so nicknames are hard for me. I call Jason Daddio often (and he calls me “Mamahead” in response, which I adore). We also call one another “spouse” pretty regularly, which is…odd, but feels right. Aside from that, he’s the always-uncomfortable-for-everyone-else “lover” around here. Which is probably the only thing that is specific to him.

    • Daddio and Mamahead are hilarious! I love the always-uncomfortable-for-everyone-else label. That is so you.

  8. Charlenevans says:

    I call my husband so many names..It depends on my mood actually! Lol! If I’m mad, i call him on his surname, when I feel i’m a little sweeter, i call him baby.. but when i’m in the mood of being bad.. i call him the worst word he can hear from my mouth.. Hahahaha!

  9. Oh man, I am giggling. I think the worst nickname that came in our early marriage was ‘ducky butt’. I can’t remember why- I think it was some joke, messing around with one of the kid’s dress up outfits and we got to laughing so hard, me and the kids…but I started joking and calling him Senor Duckybutt after that-and only at home. BUT…my mom, of all people, heard it, and started calling him that name too- and then, it wasn’t funny any more. It just got awkward.