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He Has Done Things His Own Way from Day One (A Birthday Post)

The alarm blared and I heaved my belly up and out of the bed in a hurry to shut it off. I hate waking up startled, but it’s the only thing that breaks through my husband’s thick sleep fog. We pulled on clothes, brushed our teeth, tucked toothbrushes into bags, and slipped out of the house into the dark of a super-early July morning.

At the hospital, the nurses couldn’t find some essential item of paperwork. I leaned against the counter, holding my belly with my hands, while they called my doctor.

Scott murmured, “Aren’t you glad I don’t have the kind of job where hospitals call you at home at 5:00 in the morning?”

Joy knitting during delivery

I nodded. I wasn’t quite ready to make conversation. It was early, I was tired, and I was anxious about what the day held. I’d never been induced before, I’d never delivered in this hospital before, and I’d never known ahead of time that our baby would have trouble. This was it. The day we would find out how rough our youngest son’s road would be.

We’d learned of his birth defects 18 weeks prior at the prenatal echo. We had these for each baby since our first child had such profound life-threatening cardiac defects. But we all thought of these tests as additional reassurance, not as something that might uncover a real problem. The diagnosis was stunning. We couldn’t believe that we were, as one of my friends put it, “a double-whammy family.”

The doctors told us that if our son’s defects were on the mild end of the spectrum, they would do corrective surgery within a few days of his birth. If they were severe, he would need to wait and grow as much as possible before surgery.

The nurses had the paperwork they needed and motioned us to follow them. We were ushered into the only windowless labor and delivery room on the floor, but I didn’t care. I wouldn’t be looking out the window until he was born anyway. Friends and family visited throughout the morning as medicines dripped and muscles contracted. When the anesthesiologist came to put in the epidural, everyone headed to the waiting room, leaving Scott and I together to meet our son. The NICU team was busy with another delivery when my body began pushing without any help from me. My doctor and my nurse urged me not to push, as the nurse kept paging the team. This was my fourth delivery though, and my body was on auto-pilot. I could feel his head crowning despite the epidural and my deliberate lack of pushing. My mind was racing. What if he’s born before they arrive? I reminded myself that we wouldn’t cut the cord until they got there. He’d be fine until then.

Little Boy in the NICU

Finally, the team poured into the room, I pushed once, he slipped out, and we got to hold him for a precious few seconds before handing him to the neonatologist to examine. Scott went with the team while my doctor and nurse stayed with me.

Awhile later, the neonatologist came to update me. “He’s doing great. He’s pink, stable, and breathing well on his own. We’ll transfer him to Children’s as soon as they have a bed available. We’ll bring him by to see you before they take him over.”

A few hours later, as the transport team wheeled our baby out in the incubator, Scott looked like a man torn in two. He wanted to be with me while I recovered, but he wanted to be with our newborn. I squeezed his hand. “I’ll be fine. I’m ready for this. You need to stay with our baby. Please. I want you to be with him. Call me from Children’s.”

He and my nurse helped me slide from the bed to a wheelchair to move to the postpartum unit, and then he left for Children’s. As I settled into my room for the night, alone, I thought about all the other women who’ve spent their recoveries alone, no baby and no father, for whatever reason. This is supposed to be a happy part of the hospital, but I realized that just made it all the more sad when a woman is there without her baby. I knew I’d recover alone, but being there made me realize how good it was for my mental and emotional health that I’d been able to prepare for it. As I tried to pump and later to sleep, I prayed for any other women there alone that night, without their babies.

//

Last night, as we were cleaning up birthday party leftovers, I heard my son talking to his Mamaw. “I wouldn’t want to end up in the hospital on my birthday,” he declared.

I couldn’t agree more.

Little ninja

Happy fifth birthday to my youngest son. You turned out to be a pistol, a handful, a rascal, a sweetheart, and super strong. Here’s to another year of antics, hilarious stories, and new discoveries.

 

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Comments

  1. Happy birthday to your super hero miracle, thanks for sharing the story of his birth. You’re one strong and lovely mama, and your bed side prayer for other lonely mamas speak volumes to a beautiful soul.
    Leanne Penny recently posted..Oh Should! (should happens)My Profile

  2. Many blessings to Luke and all of you on this wonderful day, Joy! I’m in awe of your strength. Love, love, love…
    Megan (FriedOkra) recently posted..Motherhood This Week: On Not Bungling the Blessing of NormalMy Profile

  3. Love this, Joy! I have to admit I got a little teary as I considered all that your family has gone through. Your perspective- considering single mothers during your recovery- is incredible. I’m so glad I can call you my friend.
    HopefulLeigh recently posted..The Summer I Learned To Play CatchMy Profile

  4. I love how we moms reminisce on birthdays, how the days are so deeply sweet and profound to us. What a treasure he is (and you are). Happy birthday!
    Kelly @ Love Well recently posted..Postcard from SoCalMy Profile

  5. Happy Birthday to the little guy…I’ve never really considered the deep sadness that L&D floors contained, as well as the joy. I’m glad on that day, your heart and prayers went out to the hurting mamas!!!
    the Blah Blah Blahger recently posted..DO YOU TRACK YOUR FOOD?My Profile

  6. oh, such a big lump in my throat this morning. happy birthday to your little guy!
    laura @ hollywood housewife recently posted..her imagination makes me jumpyMy Profile

  7. Happy birthday, Luke! And happy “birth” day to you, Joy.
    Sarah Bessey recently posted..In which I find a tattered bookMy Profile

  8. happy birthday!!!!
    Emily Cook (@Weakandloved) recently posted..Hey good lookin’ — Thoughts on spiritual playactingMy Profile

  9. Oh yay! Happy birthday! Love how you’ve captured this hear, Joy. It’s so much fun sharing the ups and downs with you here!

  10. I felt more than a little emotional reading this… celebrating with you today.
    Tanya Marlow recently posted..Holiday: feastMy Profile

  11. this is all too real in the realms of me waiting to meet our little one (entering 38 weeks). Happy birthday to you Luke and to you Joy as you have loved him from the get go.
    Kamille @ Redeeming the Table recently posted..Curse of Being a Hospitable DoerMy Profile

  12. I do love the way we mothers hold the memories of the day our small ones enter the world. Happy happy birthday Luke!
    Ashleigh Baker recently posted..The God QuestionMy Profile

  13. Hope that you enjoyed the birthday as much as he did! I have a Luke as well. I always felt that it was a strong name. Although, in the baby books, it means ‘light.’ It sounds like our “Luke’s” are living up to their name!
    Jen recently posted..Faking Christianity Part 2My Profile

  14. A joyful post indeed! Happy Birthday!

  15. What a sweetheart! Happy Birthday.
    Lady Jennie recently posted..Olympic EffortsMy Profile