This conversation began as an interview about O Me of Little Faith: True Confessions of a Spiritual Weakling with author Jason Boyett. But toward the end of the conversation (it was far more of a conversation than a formal interview, as you will see), he started asking me questions. As we read your comments the last couple of days, we both agreed to share one small clip in which the conversation took a unique turn. We both hope that sharing it will encourage all of you to find people with whom you can have this kind of conversation, too.
RSS and email subscribers, you may need to click here to view the video.
DISCLAIMER: When we recorded this conversation, neither of us had any idea that we might make this a public video. It is super-casual, candid, and personal, but because we believe this conversation needs to happen, we both agreed to go ahead and put it up for public consumption.
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Endorsements for O Me of Little Faith
“Never before have I known of–much less ever read–a book about Christian doubt that is chock-full of laughter and sanctity, confessional candor, and credible confession all at one and the same time. In fact, I did not even know that such a book could be written; but that’s exactly what Jason Boyett has done. O Me of Little Faith is the work of a devout, passionate, and believing doubter, and it has the ring of truth on every single page.” — Phyllis Tickle, author of The Great Emergence
“An engaging, wonderfully human portrait of faith and doubt for those among the next generation who identify as both ‘Christian’ and ‘intellectual’–and sometimes struggle to reconcile these two categories.” — Donna Freitas, Author, Sex and the Soul: Juggling Sexuality, Spirituality, Romance, and Religion on America’s College Campuses
“It’s been said that if your beliefs, whatever they may be, cannot undergo scrutiny, then they’re not worth holding. Jason Boyett isn’t afraid of putting a magnifying glass to his faith and asking tough questions that some people would rather ignore. I think both Christians and atheists will agree that he’s better off because of it.” — Hemant Mehta, author of I Sold My Soul on eBay: Viewing Faith through an Atheist’s Eyes
and blogger at FriendlyAtheist.com
“O Me of Little Faith will not solve your doubt problems, but it will be a friendly, helpful companion through your doubts. Told with an uncanny knack for finding the right story, Jason Boyett’s memoir of doubt will help all of us in our faith.” — Scot McKnight, Karl A. Olsson Professor in Religious Studies, North Park University
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What would YOU like to ask? It could be a question for either Jason or for me. Also, don’t forget to enter to win signed copies of O Me of Little Faith and Pocket Guide to the Bible
Great conversation guys! Thanks for sharing it.
Joy… having to hold it together because of circumstances/people/etc sucks. And is so extremely difficult.
Jason… I understand the thought that certain circumstances seem to make doubts more acceptable than others and that sucks for folks like you.
My doubts started before traumatic events (can’t even compare to yours, Joy, but still traumatic) hit my life. But the accident/ injuries/depression intensified my doubts. With time and counseling I trusted myself enough to admit them (okay, some of them, still struggling with putting all my doubts/opinions out there, but one of these days I’ll grow up enough to do it) For a time, people tolerated me having doubts… after all, “look what she went through and the poor dear is living with pain, limitations and a deformed leg.”
But now that I’ve recovered better and especially since I’m running marathons again… my doubts are not welcome anymore. People don’t get why I still have doubts. So I tell them it’s because of books likes yours, Jason
Just kidding, it’s books like yours that made me realize I’m not alone and helped save my sanity! Instead my questions and doubts increased when I read, reread, studied and restudied the Bible, along with its history. Many people think that instead of doubting now, I should be praying and shouting Praise God all day. Except I’m not. Because many days I’m not even sure I believe there is a God and because my recovery didn’t happen from prayer, it happened when I got my butt off the couch, changed my diet and increased my therapy (both physical and mental)
Janet Oberholtzer recently posted..Brian Simpson—From Disability to Marathons, Because He Can!
Here’s the thing, Janet. I think your recovery did happen because of prayer — but we limit what prayer looks like so much sometimes!! Getting off your butt, changing your diet, taking care of yourself – all of that is a kind of prayer, don’t you think? I think we’re designed as whole creatures. ALL of us, all the parts of us. Mind/body/spirit. And making a choice to care for the body you’ve been given is a way of acknowledging that it’s a gift. So who gave it? I know that sounds a little bit pat and I’m sorry for that. I guess I just want to say that all of what you’re doing, all of what Joy is doing, all of what Jason is doing and writing about – it’s important. SO IMPORTANT. We get stuck in our heads so much in western Christianity. Read through those weird rituals in the OT – bodies were required to do them. Bodies. And think about the roughest patches along the road of life. Emotions are required. Emotions. It’s not always about what we think or even what we say. It’s about all of life. I thank you so much for your honesty here and elsewhere and I thank Joy and Jason for posting this bit of real stuff. Doubt is part of it. I’d even go so far as to say, a really important part of it. Wrestling is what we’re invited to do, if we read scripture with care and attention. And doubt is part of that wrestling process. I don’t believe we ever find all the answers, nor should we. Asking those questions is the point. It IS the point. Couple that with a willingness, an openness to be surprised at how answers may show up and we’ve got ourselves a really interesting life to lead. I’m grateful for you interesting life, for Joy’s, for Jason’s for my own. That’s how I see God most clearly — shining out of God’s people. (And Jason, please don’t think that because everything is great in your life right now that somehow disallows you the ‘right’ to doubt. It’s the wrestling in the better times that helps us develop the mental/emotional/spiritual muscle to meet the bad times. And they come to everyone. Yes, they do.)
Diana Trautwein recently posted..Quiet for the Weekend – January 25-27, 2013
Thanks Diana!
Maybe I am limiting prayer… hadn’t really thought of exercise/diet/etc as prayer. Hmm, will have to ponder that…
Janet Oberholtzer recently posted..Russell Selkirk—Enjoying Life on a Roll, Because He Can!
Here’s the thing, Janet. I think your recovery did happen because of prayer — but we limit what prayer looks like so much sometimes!! Getting off your butt, changing your diet, taking care of yourself – all of that is a kind of prayer, don’t you think? I think we’re designed as whole creatures. ALL of us, all the parts of us. Mind/body/spirit. And making a choice to care for the body you’ve been given is a way of acknowledging that it’s a gift. So who gave it? I know that sounds a little bit pat and I’m sorry for that. I guess I just want to say that all of what you’re doing, all of what Joy is doing, all of what Jason is doing and writing about – it’s important. SO IMPORTANT. We get stuck in our heads so much in western Christianity. Read through those weird rituals in the OT – bodies were required to do them. Bodies. And think about the roughest patches along the road of life. Emotions are required. Emotions. It’s not always about what we think or even what we say. It’s about all of life. I thank you so much for your honesty here and elsewhere and I thank Joy and Jason for posting this bit of real stuff. Doubt is part of it. I’d even go so far as to say, a really important part of it. Wrestling is what we’re invited to do, if we read scripture with care and attention. And doubt is part of that wrestling process. I don’t believe we ever find all the answers, nor should we. Asking those questions is the point. It IS the point. Couple that with a willingness, an openness to be surprised at how answers may show up and we’ve got ourselves a really interesting life to lead. I’m grateful for your interesting life, for Joy’s, for Jason’s for my own. That’s how I see God most clearly — shining out of God’s people. (And Jason, please don’t think that because everything is great in your life right now that somehow disallows you the ‘right’ to doubt. It’s the wrestling in the better times that helps us develop the mental/emotional/spiritual muscle to meet the bad times. And they come to everyone. Yes, they do.)
Diana Trautwein recently posted..Quiet for the Weekend – January 25-27, 2013
What a great interview. Thanks for posting this and being so vulnerable. I really can relate to the both of you. Thanks again, sincerely.
I am so thankful you posted this, and were willing to talk openly about these thoughts. I have a similar experience (different details, similar feelings) and it is so refreshing, and even healing, to hear someone else express the same thing.
Really interesting to hear you guys go back and forth from such different circumstances…when I was a teenager, I admitted to my parents my first wave of doubt and I was SO ASHAMED. I didn’t know it was perfectly normal and that each Christian must grasp, understand, and feel passionate about their own relationship with the Lord; that our Christianity was not our parents’. But there’s a stigma in many cultures surrounding doubt and we’re made to feel like we must keep quiet so as not to lure anyone else down the pathway of doubt. What we should be doing is allowing our loved ones the space to question AND find their own answers!
the Blah Blah Blahger recently posted..CHUBBY LIKES TO EAT
I am just the worst commenter, I never have anything to add to the conversation.
So this is just me sitting in the crowd giving a big thumbs up.
Jessica recently posted..Sea of Shallow
I’m glad you decided to share this, Joy. This is a conversation we all need to have.
HopefulLeigh recently posted..Red for the New Year
Wow this knocked me for six, I do relate to the acceptance maybe but for me after losing Livvy I had to stand stronger in faith to keep us all together. But maybe that where my journey back to Christianty really started, I believed in God but in a very much spiritual way not in a biblical way. I needed the biblical way and promises to enter my heart and I think it was in the search to hold on to my sanity that brought me back. The gift of friends who whispered scripture and prayers for me.
But I didn’t find it easier as such as more of a need to survive. Does this make any sense.
The strange thing is a lot of spiritualism comes from someone losing a loved ones. I was told I was strange to turn away from spiritualism to Christianty in the midst of grief.
I think it’s down to convictions and truth being searched for.
Sara recently posted..My One Word for 2013
I enjoyed all three posts immensely! I have read his book…and I feel like there was a lot of different insight in the questions and answers that it feels like it could of been part of the book. So thank you!
I just discovered your blog and this was the first story I read. What a doozy! I come from a religious family, have always been a deeply spiritual person and even went to seminary and earned an M.Div. Faith and religion were my life. Then, both of my parents died, 7 weeks apart.
For several years after that, I think I lost my faith. I say “think” because, as a seminarian, I was already used to questioning my faith with every class I took. Even as a child I questioned the bible, unable to believe that a man could be swallowed by a big fish and live to tell about it. But after my folks died, for the first time in my life, instead of questioning doctrine and dogma and text, I wondered if God actually even existed.
My doubt included the usual “all powerful vs. all good God” dilemma. But, for me, the biggest part of my doubt was rooted in the immense discomfort I felt at the level of anger I was carrying. I was filled with rage! I couldn’t allow myself to be that angry at God (or my parents) and so, I thought, “If the only understanding of God I can have is filled with rage and disappointment, that’s not a god I can know. God can’t possibly be real.”
And for years I tried to find replacements for God in other faiths and practices (and food). And then, 7 years later (notice the number), I admitted that I was incapable of atheism, that my anger was/is justified and, to my surprise, God has never left me. God was with me through community, fulfilling work, paid bills…all sorts of ways.
Now, my work is about allowing myself to trust. It’s about letting go of the need to define God with theology that is logical, and trusting that God Is and I am and I am not alone and God participates in the world and in my life in ways that I don’t understand. I am trying to figure out what God is responsible for and what I am responsible for in the world. I am trying to accept that bad things happen all day long, right along side good things, and that is life. And God is in all of it – the good and the bad. As the good and bad work in my life, so does God – pushing, pulling, holding, helping, hurting, allowing, waiting. For me, God encompasses all that is. God is all good and all powerful; God is neither good nor bad and as powerful as I am willing to allow God to be; God is dark & frightening & maybe even mean and God is as weak as I am when faced with death and fear and pain.
I always write too much in comments. Forgive me. And, check out NPR’s series “Losing Our Religion”. It’s been enlightening. http://www.npr.org/2013/01/16/168563480/after-tragedy-nonbelievers-find-other-ways-to-cope?ft=1&f=1016
Don’t really have anything to ask, just wanted to say that I loved the interview, and particularly loved getting to see/hear you, Joy!
Oh, and Jason, your comments about the problems of holding stuff inside in a marriage, in an effort to avoid conflict/hurt have just sparked yet another conversation between my darling and me on this subject… he’s the non-talker/stuffer, I’m the one who needs to talk to process things/exploder. Thanks! Lol…