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Real or Not Real? ~ Five Minute Friday


“Real or not real?” The lead characters in The Hunger Games resort to asking each other this as they try to sort out what really happened and what was poison-induced hallucination.

“Real or not real?” I ask myself as I sit in the intensive care waiting room while our youngest undergoes a procedure. We spent hours and days there twelve years ago with our oldest. Memories are thick and my emotions raw as I remember and think, “How can we be here again?”

“Real or not real?” My oldest son choosing between anesthesia through a mask and through an i.v. He’s never had anything before, but he’s having surgery and I can’t believe I am watching a third child go under.

“Real or not real?” Reaching back into old dusty memories and trying to make sense of how they combined to form the woman I am now. The colors have faded and the details have blurred, and when I talk with family who were there too, their memories aren’t the same.

“Real or not real?” Watching people I love hurt people I love. Wondering why and how we got there and what to do to be a catalyst for healing. And will healing require radical amputation?

***

On Fridays, we write for fun, unedited, and for only five minutes. Today’s prompt was Real. Visit The Gypsy Mama to join in or read more posts.

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Finally I Can See You Crystal Clear ~ #LifeUnmasked

Songs express my heart so well when it’s a swirl of competing emotions. I love this song right now, because it speaks of so much more than a broken heart. It isn’t merely the words of an angry jilted lover. It mourns the tragedy and betrayal of the deliberate misuse of one’s power over another and describes the consequences.

There’s a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch, and it’s bringin’ me out the dark
Finally I can see you crystal clear
Go ahead and sell me out, and I’ll lay your shit bare

See how I’ll leave with every piece of you
Don’t underestimate the things that I will do
There’s a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch, and it’s bringin’ me out the dark

The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinkin’ that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can’t help feeling

We could have had it all
(You’re gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You’re gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it
(Tears are gonna fall)
To the beat
(Rolling in the deep)

Baby, I have no story to be told
But I’ve heard one on you, and I’m gonna make your head burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Make a home down there as mine sure won’t be shared

(You’re gonna wish you)
The scars of your love
(Never had met me)
Remind me of us
(Tears are gonna fall)
They keep me thinking
(Rolling in the deep)
That we almost had it all
(You’re gonna wish you)
The scars of your love
(Never had met me)
They leave me breathless
(Tears are gonna fall)
I can’t help feeling
(Rolling in the deep)

We could have had it all
(You’re gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You’re gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it
(Tears are gonna fall)
To the beat
(Rolling in the deep)
Adele: “Rolling in the Deep” Songwriters: Adkins, Adele Laurie Blue; Epworth, Paul Richard Publishers: EMI MUSIC PUBLISHING, LTD.; UNIVERSAL MUSIC PUBLISHING LTD.

(I hate disclaimers, but for those trying to read between the lines, this has nothing to do with my marriage or family.)

***

Life: unmasked buttonOn Wednesdays, I host a link-up for anyone willing to step away from the pretense that all is well, who will take off their mask with me, and write naked. Being real about our hard days has tremendous capacity to encourage others in their hard days. Life isn’t always good, but we can help each other get through the tough times when we acknowledge the truth. Sometimes the tears are gonna fall.

If you’ve written anything unmasked, link up below! Please link back to this post so your readers can find others willing to bare it all, and then make sure to visit at least two others and leave them encouraging comments.

Hell Should Never Be a Punchline

“What do we learn about God here?” the teacher asked.

I stared at the horrifying verse in my Bible. “I will wipe from the face of the earth the human race I have created.”

snowglobe with a figure nearly submerged

I felt sick as I pictured little children drowning in the Genesis flood. My mouth remained closed while others in the class offered up responses like “God is completely holy” and “God cannot tolerate wickedness.” When the teacher began to defend God’s wrath and judgment in calculated and academic tones, I curled up into a little ball inside.

Read the rest of this post on A Deeper Story.

 

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